And don’t you dare start with “well, a computer, a printer, or pen and paper — time, yes, time would be nice…” Yes, yes, you needs those things, but I’m talking about you being a writer, not just a schmo with an internet connection and a grudge.
Following is a list of six things that determine whether you are a writer, or not.
Ø A will of iron: We all wish that the books would write themselves, but that’s not happening. So you have to slop your butt into the seat on a semi-regular basis, and actually do the work. There will always be some distraction (cue: children/ pets/ next door’s party/ a suddenly fascinating carbuncle on your big toe) to… well… distract you from the task at hand. If you want to write, then do it and find a way https://youtu.be/D8zlUUrFK-M #dinosaursstillrule
Ø A thorough knowledge of yourself and humanity. The good, the bad — the waffly bits in the middle. You get the gist. Depending on your genre, you may have to delve into the depths of depravity to write your story and tell it how it needs to be told. Now, I’m not suggesting that you write a book called “Cooking With Jeffrey Dahmer”, or “The Manson Family Guide to Parties”. Those would simply be in bad taste (in the case of the first — no pun intended). But you need to know what makes you tick — which, by extension means that you know how other people tick (mostly).
Be aware though that when you judge others and ascribe them a motive, it is your motive, not necessarily theirs, so if your villains always act out from the same triggers, then you may have to do a little soul searching into your own problems. I mean, what would happen should James Bond shoot Blofeld’s cat, for example? #noteiamnotatherapist
Ø Which leads to characters… you want your villains to have some redeeming quality (unremitting evil = BORING), but you also want your heroes to be flawed. Delicate balance there, and one which it can take a long time to perfect.
Now for three ways to try and do all of that:
Ø Some suggestions: Write at a coffee shop, at the library, in your own designated workspace, after the kids are asleep, before the kids wake up. Have the kids adopted out (joking — maybe). It takes the discipline and dedication of Special Forces some days to write — but it is worth it.
Ø Journal — for your eyes only, and really dig into what makes you tick. You may find your initial entries are “Went for a walk today, it was nice”, which is cool, but kind of trite. Later entries however may begin with you going for a walk, and conclude with “and that is how Alfredo, my pet chipmunk died. NB: If you journal right, make sure that you have a box of tissues handy at all times during — it all may end in tears. #ripalfredo
Ø READ. Let me repeat that — READ. Once more and you’ve got it: READ. “What do I read?” I imagine you asking. EVERYTHING. ANYTHING. Do not limit yourself to the same old thing every time, read something from every genre you can find. Crazy for sci-fi, read a western. Crazy for sweet category? Read steamy paranormal — #blackdaggerbrotherhoodyum
You get the idea. Mix it up, do something different. Hate to break it to you, but in the end nearly everything can be broken down into some kind of romance. #dareyoutofindonethatisnot
So there you go, a quick summary of what being a writer demands of you, but oh, what it gives you back…
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